Death to Everyone

I'm glad I waited a solid 24 hours to write this because when I was walking home from the Gogol Bordello concert last night, it was going to be called, "Everyone Fuck off and Die!" I've calmed the snake, though, and put things in perspective.

I was excited to go to the concert after spending a weekend in Texas with the family for my cousin Jim's wedding. He married a wealthy daughter of a successful watermelon man. Here were my five favorite moments from the wedding:

1. The toast my two male cousins gave their brother was funny and endearing. I told my sister she should have let me do something like that.

2. Watermelon Dad translated his speech into Spanish for the five Mexican businessmen in attendance.

3. Philip and I had an intense spell off while watching the National Spelling Bee on ESPN. Neither of us spelled a single word correctly in the final round.

4. A waitress named Corky gave my father, brother, and I a massage after our burgers took too long to come out. For some reason, my dad really enjoyed this and made everyone else get one also. Us Northern folks are too tense! My dad promptly tipped her.

5. The wedding party swam across the Rio Grande in their underwear to Mexico. An American flag was brought and hung from a tree. Border patrol was called. I'm related?

(Oh, and honorable mention) 6. My stepmom danced like a banshee and kept bragging about how good she was. Philip imitated her. Dorthy (grandma) eventually got up (after being placed at the wrong table) and did the signature move I do at every party I've been to in the last fifteen years (the hip bump). I was pleased to get one hip bump in there with her. I'm sure I looked like a raging homosexual. Later, "Brown Eyed Girl" came on and my stepmom oddly said that she hated this song and didn't want to dance to it. I was amazed because everyone likes that song, and she danced to every song they played. I guess we actually agree about something.

Upon arrival back home, everyone backed out of the Gogol Bordello show.

First, Jamie said he couldn't do it. That one caught me off guard, but I can't blame the guy.

Second, Ryan and Jordan dropped out. Including the supposed free tickets we were supposed to get.

I asked Rebecca (girl from Yeah Yeah Yeahs show) to go, but she couldn't.

I asked Dave B. to go. He was playing tennis while I spoke with him. I quickly found it was just as annoying to be playing tennis while he talked on the phone as it was to talk on the phone to him while he played tennis. No dice.

Put a post on Craigslist. Picture received. Too ugly.

Called Tim from JET class. He said, "yes". Twenty minutes later he calls and says that he has to hang out with his girlfriend.

Tequilla shot to kill/add to the pain.

I walked to the show. Everything was actually really great. I needed a long walk and time alone with my Zune. I listened to the Kinks on shuffle and remembered how much their songs meant to me. I fantasized about movies I would make in Japan backed up by the likes of "Animal Farm", "Arthur", "Driving", "Afternoon Tea", etc. That band is a fucking powerhouse.

Some European lads asked me if I were going to the show. I said yes, bullshitted with them for a bit, then headed inside. They were nice and excited and I missed Europe briefly.

Man Man opened and did not disappoint. Just a really crazy and intense live act. They have a ton going on--it seemed precise and chaotic at once. I definitely want to see them again.

The crowd was completely out of control. I was in a way also, but I was more emotionally out of control after being run through the rejection wringer. I got close to the stage and stood behind this girl that started kicking me because I got too close to her. God, I'm getting a bit angry just thinking about this. Some people, man. She started kicking me in my shins because I brushed up against her. If I weren't such a hell of a guy, I would have slugged her. I told her to cut the shit and that in about four seconds the entire place was going to erupt into fucking chaos. She told me that I didn't need to shove her, and proceeded to put all of her weight on me and throw me as hard as she could. Still, I kept my cool (being a hell of a guy). I decided it wasn't worth it and just jumped in front of her. Later in the show, I saw her getting her fucking salad tossed where she was standing. I don't think she lasted long.

Yes! I still have got it! I can still jump on my tippie toes for an entire hour and a half plus set! Now, I found I can even do it in cowboy boots! The concert itself doesn't require much of a review. Anyone that has seen the band understands how really great they are live. They did the drum thing where Eugene and the drummer girl throw the drum in the audience and stand on it. Just amazing to see.

I had to take a break part way through the set. I was a hot sweaty mess--just totally drenched in sweat. I ran into Jennifer, Kimberly, Kimberly's boyfriend, and two of their friends. God, it was a mistake to even talk to them. I invited Jennifer and Jon over to my place for a pre-party when I thought a bunch of people were going to go to the show. They all acted like I had fucking leprosy, so I decided to just go get a slice of six dollar greasy ass pizza and rest.

On the way back, I saw a different guy from my JET language class. He was working the merch table for Man Man which was pretty cool. I probably looked like an asshole eating pizza and sweating (god bless Pro-Active!), but it good to talk to him. I get the feeling he's too cool for school, but good to thing about the future rather than the present for a few moments.

During the final encore, I saw crazy ass Jon crowd surf past me. I wanted to tap him on the foot and tell him he's an asshole. At the same time, I was a bit jealous because I wanted to crowd surf again to Gogol (I went across the whole field when I saw them at Lollapalooza).

After the show I met up with Jennifer and company again. I thought we could get a drink or something, but they made it really obvious they didn't want me around. It was like sixth grade all over again. I just don't get it. The snub. Maybe I snub, too, but I don't think so. God, if I saw someone at a show by himself after that person invited me to come over before the show--I'd have to think I'd be nice to him. I'd have to think I'd invite him out for a drink afterward. I'd have to think I'd really hate the person that I snub in that spot.

Jennifer and company are such fucking phonies. I hate, I mean, I really loathe her fake smile that she always flashes me. "Gumbo!" Fuck off and die! Yeah, I should have titled it that. Fuck off and die. She is really full of shit and I'm angry that it took me this long to figure it out.

Betsy told me tonight that she doesn't want to move in with her before I leave which made me really happy. I don't have to live with her. I don't want to live with her for even a day or two. I couldn't deal with that bullshit fake smile any longer than I had to.

Today--I was pretty pissy today. This fucking Hummer was trying to turn left from my lane, holding traffic up, so I got up next to it and hocked a big ass loogie on their window. I hit it straight on and told them to fuck off and die!

All in all, there's just a whole lot going on. I've got more going on right now in my head than I can remember. It's not all bad, though. I met some of the people I'll be living near online, and they all seem really fun and friendly. Japan won't be the party I envisioned, but it will be a party, and I will have a great time.

Bonny "Prince" Billy has this song "Death to Everyone" where he delivers the odd sentiment, "It makes hosing much more fun." I don't get it, but I like it. I've been singing it all day.

The sentiment is not "Death to Everyone" in the sense that he wishes it upon everyone--more that it is going to come to everyone. I like that better than the whole, "Fuck off and die" sentiment that has been running through my head. I can't focus on them. I've just got to lay low and relax and NOT go out so much until I'm gone. I need a hibernation for a while here to sort out this weirdness that is making me not want to get out of bed but unable to sleep.